So I know that it is currently 2 am in the morning, but I feel that I must blog right here and now because I have somethings in my mind that must come out. If you know me personally then you will know that I spent the last six months abroad in Germany. And now I have been back in the states for almost a month now and it has been weird. I am going to talk about something I always knew existed but never until now have I felt that it really scared me. After being abroad and such now this is something that really scares me. This something has everything do to with being a women and living in a country where men do not fully respect women even to this day. It is ever more apparent to me after spending so much time in a country where men respect women.
Madison, Wisconsin can definitely be up there on safer cities but ever since moving to madison 2 and half years ago I have always had pepper spray. I have never had to use it, thank god, but I would not feel comfortable without it. You hear the stories, the reports, etc about muggings, sexual assault, etc and its a real thing. I am not saying that bad shit doesnt happen in Germany, but I never felt, never ever felt, that I was in danger or needed to be in possession of pepper spray during my stay in Bonn. And finally I feel as if I figured out just exactly why Bonn, and for the most part, Germany felt so comfortable to me.
Being back in Madison filled in that question mark. Why did (do) I feel less comfortable in Madison than Bonn?? Here's why:
One of my very first things I notice is that walking around busy areas (the capital, state street, campus) is that guys, (majority creepers) say things to you like "hey beautiful", "hey girl, you lookin sexy", and so on. Not that I don;t mind a compliment but it is in the manner with which it comes that puts me on edge and makes me uncomfortable. And I notice so often that men stare at women as if they are some piece of meat rather that a person when they walk by. I feel as if men don't respect women here. And then I see these girls falling over and peining over men by being slutty and easy and I can't help but think how they don't respect themselves either.
When I have to walk home at night because the last bus has stopped running (buses stop for the most part just before midnight). I walk with pepper spray in hand and alert to everything because I do not feel safe just walking down the sidewalk to my apartment just three blocks away from the Capital. Should I have to feel this way? I spent six months where I never felt that way. I could even go home "shitty" so to say and still make it home safely. Here I dont feel that even remotely so. Even without a drop of any alcohol I would still feel uncomfortable.
And I am venturing to say this is not some case of over paranoia. It's real. And there's little etches that make me feel that I am in right to feel this way. One of them is something that was said to me tonight by none other than an actual german whom i have befriended since coming back. We were talking about sorority girls and freshman girls and how slutty they tend to be. And the German guy asked me if there was a bad name also for guys who acted the same way. And if you ask any American girl you will know that a guy being a "man whore" does not get the same impact as a girl being a slut. And so in answer to our friends question, me and Becca tried to explain that its not the same. And his answer was "girls should be allowed to have fun too" meaning their should be quality on both sides which clearly their isnt. It is so simple. But here in America it is not simple because the respect and the equality is not there. I think for once I know why I found German men in clubs so wierd, that is that they didnt just go up and grind (dance) with a girl. I think now that's because in general thast not respectful.
And then on a larger scale I turn toward politics. My country disgusts me and I dont want to think what it will be if Romney wins, but that is a whole different subject. But there is an article (here) that was published in the last week where the belief that "rape is another form of conception" is the topic. They fact that people believe such an horrendous thing makes me sick to my stomach. What is happening to a woman's right to choose? I fear for America if power shifts into the hands of those who have no respect or care for equality of rights between men and women. I never thought that I would feel this way as an American, because we are supposed to be the "land of the free" but after my stay in Germany and my return I see so much more how much this isnt the land of the fee it is the land of the crazy and the illogical. And I can only say is: someone get me the fuck out of here.
Madison, Wisconsin can definitely be up there on safer cities but ever since moving to madison 2 and half years ago I have always had pepper spray. I have never had to use it, thank god, but I would not feel comfortable without it. You hear the stories, the reports, etc about muggings, sexual assault, etc and its a real thing. I am not saying that bad shit doesnt happen in Germany, but I never felt, never ever felt, that I was in danger or needed to be in possession of pepper spray during my stay in Bonn. And finally I feel as if I figured out just exactly why Bonn, and for the most part, Germany felt so comfortable to me.
Being back in Madison filled in that question mark. Why did (do) I feel less comfortable in Madison than Bonn?? Here's why:
One of my very first things I notice is that walking around busy areas (the capital, state street, campus) is that guys, (majority creepers) say things to you like "hey beautiful", "hey girl, you lookin sexy", and so on. Not that I don;t mind a compliment but it is in the manner with which it comes that puts me on edge and makes me uncomfortable. And I notice so often that men stare at women as if they are some piece of meat rather that a person when they walk by. I feel as if men don't respect women here. And then I see these girls falling over and peining over men by being slutty and easy and I can't help but think how they don't respect themselves either.
When I have to walk home at night because the last bus has stopped running (buses stop for the most part just before midnight). I walk with pepper spray in hand and alert to everything because I do not feel safe just walking down the sidewalk to my apartment just three blocks away from the Capital. Should I have to feel this way? I spent six months where I never felt that way. I could even go home "shitty" so to say and still make it home safely. Here I dont feel that even remotely so. Even without a drop of any alcohol I would still feel uncomfortable.
And I am venturing to say this is not some case of over paranoia. It's real. And there's little etches that make me feel that I am in right to feel this way. One of them is something that was said to me tonight by none other than an actual german whom i have befriended since coming back. We were talking about sorority girls and freshman girls and how slutty they tend to be. And the German guy asked me if there was a bad name also for guys who acted the same way. And if you ask any American girl you will know that a guy being a "man whore" does not get the same impact as a girl being a slut. And so in answer to our friends question, me and Becca tried to explain that its not the same. And his answer was "girls should be allowed to have fun too" meaning their should be quality on both sides which clearly their isnt. It is so simple. But here in America it is not simple because the respect and the equality is not there. I think for once I know why I found German men in clubs so wierd, that is that they didnt just go up and grind (dance) with a girl. I think now that's because in general thast not respectful.
And then on a larger scale I turn toward politics. My country disgusts me and I dont want to think what it will be if Romney wins, but that is a whole different subject. But there is an article (here) that was published in the last week where the belief that "rape is another form of conception" is the topic. They fact that people believe such an horrendous thing makes me sick to my stomach. What is happening to a woman's right to choose? I fear for America if power shifts into the hands of those who have no respect or care for equality of rights between men and women. I never thought that I would feel this way as an American, because we are supposed to be the "land of the free" but after my stay in Germany and my return I see so much more how much this isnt the land of the fee it is the land of the crazy and the illogical. And I can only say is: someone get me the fuck out of here.
